De Javu

Someone said... To be winner... All you need is to give all you have... To become successful... Afterwards... Did not forget also... To always pray... Until being reached what was wanted... What was said... Truly the existence... The hard work... Did not know surrendered... It is one of the way... The success... Humankind was given by the capacity... To try... To hope... In order to have the direction... In the life... Tried to be the obligation... In spite of that in a praying manner... But... When all the hard works... Always produced what was wanted... Possibly was not available... Hopeless humankind... Disappointed and miserable... There were those who was forgotten... That humankind... Have the limitations ... The limitations in decisive... Determined what will happen... With knew... And always remembered that... We did not find it easy... Disappointed and angry... If as hard as possible... Through to blood crying... Did not get what...

Other... Go... Left the world... Forevermore... He... A hard worker... Loved the family... Paid attention to the peer... Be sick that was suffered... Made him suffered... Not strong kept pain... Cried... Angry... In the condition... Before going... The health began to be restored... Gradually carried out the everyday activity... However all that... The sign to say goodbye... Left the child and the wife.. Came back to Illahi Robbi... Safe journey the uncle... You settled your task... In this world... It is hoped the Lord... Pardon all of your sins... Happy beside the Lord... Amen.... (recalled the uncle who died today)

Served the fellow humankind... Was not easy... Because of humankind not be the same... The characteristics and the behaviour... There were those who are good... There is also that not... Accepted help... From the peer... Also was not easy... There were those who are sincere... There were also those who are two-faced... Distinguished... Around that was sincere and not... Could be the case... Because... There is none that knew... The depth of the heart.... The smile and the friendliness... Could be made.... In accordance with the condition and the requirement... Indeed was not good... Had bad prejudice... But was not wrong to be on the alert... Faced various human sorts... That became the problem... How... Faced all that... In order to not happen... The matter that was not hoped for... Maintained relations... Not for the dispute... Safe peaceful... Was full of the happiness... What all that possibly? .... Must be thrown away by the suspicious feeling? ... Always must believe? ... And Rec...

Already in August... Was finished that in September... October... November... December... The New Year again... Such was lived this... Proceeded fast without being felt... It seems just yesterday the scholar graduation... With the gown... Received the scholar’s certificate... Now the hard work seeks a living... It seems the day after tomorrow still there... But now already here... It seems earlier still the morning... In fact it's already night time the day... It seems earlier was busy... Now quiet... It seems a previous second she still on the side... Now has gone... All that was felt... Real... Not the dream... ................ and must be undergone.

Cold air penetrating... Felt as far as bones... Rain descended was swift enough... Wetted the land... In the seventh night... The Ramadhan month... Thank heavens was raised by me... On the gift that was felt by me... The health... The strength... Be unlimited was felt by me... The holy month... During to cleaned ourselves... Avoid the sin... Avoid all the insults... The storm lived... Definitely always will be available... However when one was exceded... It was lovely that the heart was not thought... Live without the ordeal... Not lived in the world... Will not escape from being wrong... Deliberate... And not... However... Obligatory for us... To always try... To better... Good for ourselves... And with the other person... Fall one time... Twice, that was normal... The three times were the disaster... The sign to introspection... Improve yourself... Was not easy to change... Just could not speak... Need the determination was as strong as the...

The ordeal... Always came... When that was not hoped for... The ordeal could came repeated... Sometimes only from time to time... The ordeal was the warning... From the great Lord... To test... The Quality of human faith... Many sorts... The ordeal to humankind... There were those who are heavy... There were also those who are light... Many also the method... Humankind in facing that... Depended... How to received that... There were those who are strong... Patient and grateful... There were those who are weak... Cried and mourned... Moreover ended they life... That was clear... The ordeal not to be avoided... Also could not be ignored... Always must be ready to be dealt with... Because... The ordeal that was given by The Lord... Will not exceed the limit... The human capacity in receiving that.

The love... Had not been thought about... To be not in love... To not have... Personally... Not the wish... Pleasant... If only for a moment... When not personally... The beginning was felt beautiful... There was no lack... Was easy forgave... Was full of the intimate feeling... After old together... The feeling began to decrease... The love began to be vague... Honesty began to be fake... Half-hearted only attention... Was not again easy to understand... After being apart... Regret came struck... Every day was disturbed by the longing... Thank heavens when... She still understood... And wanted to try again... However... When the heart has hated... The feeling was hurt... Was closed the road to come back... That was kept being the miserable feeling... ... Mourned that happened... Solitude... Again accompanied... The love... Togetherness... It was... The gift... To be enjoyed... To be appreciated... Was not easy to was grateful with what available... Was not easy to maintain togethernes...

The flower... Often was the symbol... To be presented... As the expression... Love... The love... Moreover the sorrow... Like the rose... Was white... The sign of the sincerity... Was red... The sign of the firmness of the love... Was pink... The sign of the blossoming heart... Really in the meaning of a flower... The colour difference of the difference also meaning that... Really beautiful was gazed at... Really peaceful was felt... But... The flower was easy withered... The stem there is one that is thorny... If being stabbed... Extraordinarily pain... Need the softness to treat it... As being proper for humankind... Fragile... And was easy to be affected... Have the feeling ... That needed the understanding... Have emotions ... That needed patience... Have the desire ... That needed satisfaction... The flower and humankind... Together the Lord's creation... Have the positive side... And the side of the negative... Together had the limit....

Knowledge was something... That could be useful... Could also not... Beneficial if... Used for goodness... Was not useful... When being used for the weakness... Got knowledge... There were those who was easy.. There were also those who was difficult.. Depended... The person who studied it... Pursued knowledge was the right... And the obligation of all humankind... Previously... Got knowledge did not need the cost... That important had the will... Now... Be not enough only a wish... Knowledge had the stage... Each stage had price... Inexpensive... For that was well-off... There were also those who are free... Necessarily... That is theology... Unfortunately this knowledge not the priority... Only to carry out the obligation... Looked for when being needed... In fact... This knowledge that prevented... The crime... Improved... The attitude and the action... All knowledge had the teacher... That taught and led... But... The teacher also humanki...

Finally... After almost three days... The head was filled with the figure... And the calculation... Very satisfied it seems... When getting what was looked for... The pleasant feeling the heart... If i think... The satisfaction was indeed not easy was gained... Need the hard work and perseverance... But... Overturned by the satisfaction... Felt still was not yet maximal... Felt still there is something missing... Possibly only pride... And pleasure... Because of could resolve the problem... Possibly also only the feeling thank heavens... On results of the hard work... That was certain... That satisfaction so that still more spirits again... To continue better... Faced the higher challenge.

Tomorrow was the independence day... 64 years were independent... Our country that was beloved... Celebrated fully the happiness... Often was held by the race... In every corner of the country... The day that was full of pleasure... Feel like without the burden... Independent that was commemorated... It was independence in being national... Without colonisers's inhibition.. Independent that the gift... Owing to the struggle that did not know tired... Independent had many meanings... Depended the person who felt him... And what became his requirement... The poor person said... I was not yet independent, because of my fate still like this!... The rich person said... I also was not yet independent, because still had the limitation!... So humankind... Had not been satisfied... Was not easy to accept the reality... But..... Could not be blamed... Humankind had the right to believed... Because given by the blessing the mind and thoughts... Although... Often was misused... Independent ind...

The night was increasingly moving... The street began to be quiet... The busy voice began to be silent... The Sigh... Feel like eliminated all the burdens... Eliminated bored... During bored must be reminded the matter of time... Will never end... Always there are those that was attention... Because we the road was accompanied... And always loyal accompanied... Time was felt fast... Because we often did not care... And did not appreciate... For us... Time only as the sign... Only as the symbol... When during began... And stopped... Only that... Was not wrong... To opinion... Because time could not speak... It was always quiet... The shape then was not available... In fact... Time that for us changed... Realised or not... Previously young, now old... Previously lives, now not... Appreciated ourselves... That had difficulty... Everything appreciated time... Possibly must be preceeded... Learned to care... Because... That happened... And was exceded... Can be not repeated.

Cried ... If that made you relieved... Laughed ... If that was indeed funny... Reveal u'r angry ... If indeed there is one that is wrong... forgave ... Although that was painful... Forgot ... If you could... Recalled ... If could be made by the lesson... Cried was the expression ... During sad and happy... Laughed was the reaction ... When being confused and liked... Angry to be the overflowing of emotions ... Could happen in all condition... Sorry was the sincerity ... To give and received... Forget that was humane ... The origin should not occur again the time... The memory was the memory .. That did not find it easy to be forgotten... All that... Part of the life... That must be good at to be responded to... For us to correction... In order to be able to be better... Good for personal... Also for the other person.

In this living... The problem always was available... Could be caused of the mistake personally... And because of the other person... There was the difficult problem... There was also trivial problem... Whatever the problems... Must be completed... Could not personally... Shared with the other person... If the life did not have the problem... Humankind could not possibly develop... To become better... More mature... In thinking and acting... Was easy to be said... Was easy to be sent... However was difficult to be carried out... All the achievements... All the stages... Indeed must through the process... Need the struggle... Patience... And the sacrifice.

Fall in love... The beautiful feeling... But was full of the mystery... When still was felt by me the feeling... Not because I could not... But still was difficult for me... To release the past... I could love... But perhaps only half-hearted... I only could care... And appreciated... I like this... Because of the guilt... Against someone that once... Loved and care me... With all she heart... However... I did not appreciate... And understood... Only could force the wish... I not want to... Like that again... Although all has been late... For us... To be united like previously... I only could promise... To again better... Loved and care... Someone who was other... That wanted shared... With myself.

Today rain again descends... After along time... Dripped swiftly... Wetted the earth... Rain was the gift... When the dry struck... Rain was the disaster... When inviting flooding water... Rain previously with now is different... Previously it will descend in accordance with the season... Now has been unclear... It profit had other rain... That could make humankind liked... That is money rain... That always was hoped for... However had not been available... Trully Complete this world... With all the forms of hope.. Made the world increasingly was loved... Made humankind forgotten... Would his obligation... As the Lord's creation.

Hari senin... Aktifitas bermula lagi... Jalanan ramai... Seperti kemarin... Hari adalah waktu... Waktu yang diberi nama... Agar bisa dibedakan... Dan tidak terlupakan... Bayangkan kalau hari tak bernama... Pasti banyak timbul masalah... Saat berjanji.. Saat pergi... Memulai dan mengakhiri... Seandainya pula hari tidak ada... atau cuma ada satu hari... Apa yang akan terjadi?... Bosannya hidup ini... Diam dan terpaku waktu... Tak ada dinamika... Tak ada perubahan... Syukur pada Tuhan... Yang telah menciptakan hari... Yang telah membuat waktu... Hingga hidup... Lebih bervariasi. (terinspirasi saat memulai pekerjaan di hari senin yang terselimuti mendung namun tak kunjung hujan)

On Monday... The activity began again... The busy street... Like yesterday... The day was time... Time that was given by the name... In order to be able to be distinguished... And not forgotten... Imagined if the day did not have a name... Often must emerge the problem... During promised.. When going... Began and ended... If also the day was not available... Or only was one the day... What will happen? ... It was Bored lived this... Quiet and motionless time... There were no dynamics... There was no change... Thank heavens to the Lord... That created the day... That made time... Until living... More varying. (inspiration came when beginning the work in Monday that was covered overcast but never rain)

Together with the call to prayer "ashar"... The street was increasingly busy... The person passed by of the tall grass... Had not been quiet... There are those that to right... There are those that to left... There are those that to the north... There is also to the south... Every day like that... Recurred... Tomorrow... Tomorrow after... Had not stopped... While the life was enjoyed... While healthy was grateful... Continued to move reach the dream... The life was the process... Be full of the activity... Although having the limit... All had the aim... All that will continue to continue... Until the stopping world proceeded. (This wrote inspiration when i saw the street from my veranda)

Seiring azan ashar... Jalanan semakin ramai... Orang berlalu lalang... Tak pernah sepi... Ada yang kekanan... Ada yang kekiri... Ada yang keutara... Ada pula keselatan... Setiap hari seperti itu... Berulang kembali... Besok... Besoknya lagi ... Tak pernah berhenti... Selagi hidup dinikmati... Selagi sehat disyukuri... Terus bergerak menggapai mimpi... Hidup adalah proses... Penuh dengan aktifitas... Walaupun ada batas... Semua mempunyai tujuan... Semua itu kan terus berlanjut... Hingga dunia berhenti berputar.

Perjalananku... Dari titik nol lagi... Merangkak seperti bayi... Mencoba tuk tegak berdiri... Jalan hidup sudah digariskan... Masa lalu jadi pelajaran... Meski perih penuh beban... Hidup harus terus berjalan... Ya Allah... Engkau Tuhanku... Tempat aku mengadu... Kuatkan aku ... Bukanlah karna kulemah... Mudahkan jalanku ... Bukanlah karena ku tersesat... Terangi aku ... Bukan karena aku buta... Maafkan aku Tuhan... Bila bermunajat dikala gundah... Bila bermohon dikala susah... Bila meminta tanpa menyembah... Aku, hamba-Mu... Yang sering lupa mensyukuri nikmat-Mu... Yang masih lalai jalankan perintah-Mu... Memohon ridho-Mu... Untuk menjalankan niatku. (tulisan ini adalah sebuah perenungan untuk pencapaian niat)

The misunderstanding... It was the trigger of the occurrence of the dispute... The fellow friend... Your peer... Moreover with parents... Indeed was difficult to could understand... Understood... Or received... The character of a humankind... Need time and patience... Unfortunately... Time and patience had limit... Not everyone could carry out... When the ego and emotions spoke... Will be other situation... The dispute... The disturbance... Moreover the murder... We wanted the other person... Could understand and received the way it is... But... Have we been able to be the reverse?... If not yet... Certainly always will be available... And will never end.

The sun gazed at the “maghrib”… Was red and round perfect… Welcomed the night came… It was beautiful that The Lord creation… Had not been bored sinking… Had not complained with the nature… Always loyal with the running… Had we thought… If becoming the sun… Could be as consistent as that… Undertook the task fully sincerely… Realise nature that was The GOD given… Could not imagined… When the sun like human… Really chaotic world… Rose and sank from all direction… Sometimes rose, sometimes not… Finally The End Of The World… But… If the sun becoming the human… Certainly will be safe world… All walked appropriate the rule… Was not corrupt… Did not have the heart illness… Humankind indeed the perfect creature… Was compared by the other creature… Had the mind and thoughts… Had the wish… Knew that was good and bad… However… The blessing to the stain… Because the world bitter and the sweetness… Thought without the mind… Did to praise… Surely… That the fact… The challenge as The GOD creature…

Matahari menjelang maghrib… Merah bulat sempurna… Menyambut datangnya malam… Indah benar ciptaan-Mu… Tak pernah bosan mentari terbenam… Tak pernah mengeluh akan kodratnya… Senantiasa setia dijalurnya… Pernahkah kita berpikir… Seandainya jadi mentari… Apakah bisa sekonsisten itu… Menjalankan tugas dengan penuh keikhlasan… Menyadari kodrat yang diberikan-NYA… Tak terbayangkan… Bila mentari seperti manusia… Betapa kacaunya dunia… Terbit dan terbenam dari segala arah… Kadang terbit, kadangpula tidak… Kiamatlah akhirnya… Namun… Bila mentari jadi manusia… Tentu akan amanlah dunia… Semua berjalan sesuai aturannya… Tak ada korupsi… Tak ada penyakit hati… Manusia memang mahluk sempurna… Dibandingkan mahluk lainnya… Punya akal dan pikiran… Punya keinginan… Tahu mana yang baik dan buruk… Tapi… Anugerah itu menjadi ternoda… Karena pahit dan manisnya dunia… Berpikir tanpa akal… Berbuat untuk pujian… Memang… Itulah kenyataan… Tantangan sebagai mahluk ciptaan Tuhan…

The life... Had two sides... That is the birth... And the death... Two contradictory sides... The happiness... And the sadness... There was laughter... There was crying... When there are those that died... "Aura" the sorrow covered... The crying sobbing accompanied... Regret unstopped... When there are those that gave birth... The atmosphere of the happiness... The happyness outstanding... When there are those that died... Hoped his soul... Accepted beside of The Lord... Pardoned by his sins... When being that just was born... Hoped eventually... Obedient to parents... To useful humankind... And obeyed to The Lord... Such was lived this... Must be undergone... Must be good at gracefull... Must be ready received... But also was willing to be left...

Kehidupan... Mempunyai dua sisi... Yaitu kelahiran... dan kematian... Dua sisi yang berlawanan... Kebahagiaan... Dan kesedihan... Ada tawa... Ada tangis... Saat ada yang meninggal... Aura duka menyelimuti... Isak tangis mengiringi... Penyesalan tiada henti... Saat ada yang melahirkan... Suasana suka cita... Kebahagian tiada tara... Ketika ada yang meninggal... Berharap arwahnya... Diterima disisinya... Diampuni dosa-dosanya... Ketika ada yang baru lahir... Berharap nantinya... Patuh pada orang tua... Menjadi manusia yang berguna... dan bertaqwa pada Tuhan-Nya... Begitulah hidup ini... Harus dijalani... Harus pandai mensyukuri... Harus siap menerima... Dan juga rela untuk ditinggalkan...

Lampu mati lagi... Ada perbaikan katanya... Tiap bulan mesti ada yang diperbaiki... Padahal katanya negeri lumbung energi... Bandingkan dengan di negeri seberang... Jarang sekali seperti ini... Padahal energinya dari sini... Kenapa bisa pilih kasih... Orang cuma bisa simpan dalam hati... Sumpah serapah pelepas emosi... Walau rutin bayar sebulan sekali... Tetap ada alasan mereka kenapa terjadi... Untungnya orang orang sudah terbiasa... Terbiasa pasrah... Terbiasa jadi anak tiri... Terbiasa dicueki... Karena... Walau sudah disindir dan dicaci... Mereka tetap tak peduli.

Evidently... Was not easy for you.... Forgot the past... Moreover the bitter memory... Just want to addressed... You who had been close... It was curious that the news... Now where... U'r work... U'r family... Don't be frightened... I was aware of the condition... Not would more... Only as the friend... But, you stayed quiet.

Realised by me... All that... Has become the past... Especially for her... Her life was good... The happy family... Unlike me... Still like this... Struggled and continued to struggle... She was not wrong choose... Her decision was true... If with me... Possibly not as it is now...

Fall back of me... Saw her... Tremble was born my heart... The feeling was mixed.... Between liked and the sorrow... So many years did not meet... So many years were not on speaking terms... Come across her shape... Gazed at her face... For me, none changed... Like my feeling... To her... You are loved of my life... From long before... Has old we were apart... Old.... There is millions of seconds... And thousands of nights... Many that were lost... Many that were forgotten... Many that happened... .........Without you.

Sudah bulan agustus... Habis itu September... Oktober... November... Desember... Tahun baru lagi... Begitulah hidup ini... Berputar cepat tanpa terasa... Rasanya baru kemarin diwisuda... Pake toga... Menerima Ijazah sarjana... Sekarang kerja keras mencari nafkah... Rasanya lusa masih disana... Tapi sekarang sudah disini... Rasanya tadi masih pagi... Nyatanya sudah malam hari... Rasanya tadi ramai... Sekarang sepi... Rasanya sedetik lalu dia masih disisi... Sekarang sudah pergi... Semua itu terasa... Nyata... Bukan mimpi... ................dan harus dijalani.